Oh Lordy...

Whatever am I to do? Here's little young me... wanting ever so much to be finished school and on to the next stage in life... and also wanting some of that stage to be near. I love Laura... and it hurts. It hurts to be so far away, and to not have the warmth of her smile, the twinkle of her eyes, even the coolness of her tears nearby, that I might partake in their beauty, in her, every bit... Lord thank you for beauty.

I am a wistful soul, torn between father and lover. Sounds like a Shakespeare play, doesn't it? Thank you for wit, Lord.

I want to take charge, to head in a direction and have God lead me on from there. I think that' what I'll do. I just need to pick up the map and go. Well, first I need to draw out a map, make up my mind on a direction, and then go. God help us, please?

As far as directions go, I've got a dozen and one ways to go about it, and none of them match up with either Laura's plans or my dad's plans... They're all (mostly) somewhere in between. Lord help me plan.

The bible says to "commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:3, NLT) Well, I'm committing my actions!

Psalm 37 is also rich with guidance...

Psalm 37:3-5 (NLT)

3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.

Psalm 37:7 (NLT)

7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)

23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Well now... what am I supposed to do but act and pray God leads me on the right path? My plan now is to continue progressing through school, pick out a couple important times and start planning for them. If God doesn't want me to, then He can show me.

Signing off - The Beaver.