Relief washes over

Wow, do I feel better. That girl I was mentioned in my "Timing" post, my FallFest date, just checked her email tonight (finally!) and replied to my apology, saying, "Don't worry about anything. I didn't think that you were selfish at all. In fact, I thought the opposite!" Just goes to show how a second opinion can throw your mind (or at least mine) for a loop. At least I got a good introspective look at myself, and new fervor for class. God works in mysterious ways. He purposely didn't let me know about her thoughts and feelings until I had seriously considered my own actions, and saw what to improve, and then as I'm reading her email, my good friend Dori gives me an encouraging comment. Thanks Dori! And thank You, God, for making me who I am, and for desiring to make me one of your own, in the image of Your Son, Jesus. I still have a long way to go, and I'll have to travel through a lot of pain of letting go and changing some things, but it will all be for the better, in many ways. Goodnight all, I'm going to go to bed at a decent hour tonight! (that is, before midnight!)

Marine Humor

Ok, this has to be the funniest real life story I've heard in a long time, and to top it off, it's a marine! You have to hand it to them, Marine Humor is incredibly funny.

Timing...

Here's a little logic for you. See if you can follow.

Timing is everything.
God is perfect.
God's timing is perfect.

OK, it's not pure logic, there's a bit of a disconnect, but my point is: God's Perfect timing beats anything we may think. Something that made me think, and realize how well God orchestrates things in my life is a recent string of occurrences these past few days that really hit me hard. I'm not sure how to deal with them. First, Fallfest (homecoming) was this weekend, and I was a bit rude to my date, just caring more about myself than her, because she was more in tune with God and on fire for Him... I was embarrased and ashamed at how my life paled in comparison.
Then I mentioned it to an online friend I've grown to trust pretty well, and that friend pointed out my mediocrity, apathy, and complacency. This bothered me. Her strong language really shook me up and made me realize the sin of my situation. I was depending on myself and others for fulfillment, and I did not care for God's plan for me, just what was pleasing to me at the moment. Another way to summarize it would be that I was living for myself, and did things for others if I thought it would be good for me, and if I didn't deem it as beneficiary to myself, then I would do it half-heartedly or not at all (homework being one example). She brought up the story of Cain and Abel, and said that mediocrity was a sin. Then she told me to think about it some more, and I decided to write an email giving more detail.
After reading this, she pointed out my rudeness, and told me straight out that I needed to seriously adjust myself and my thinking. I've not been focused on God these past weeks, months, semester... In fact, I haven't pursued God actively for a long time, except for when I've needed something, like a good grade when I hadn't studied, or for good weather on a trip, or for food, and I haven't been doing that recently either. (no relation to my losing my ID card... another story completely) I have a history of “giving” my life to Christ, then taking it back after a while, because it's what I'm used to. I guess it would be more like showing my life to God, saying “Hey God, my life stinks right now, can you do something about it?” and then when things get better, with or without God's intervention, I say, “OK, that was nice. I'll have this back now, thanks”
Anyway, that conversation really got me thinking, “Why am I who I am? Why do I do what I do and think what I think?” Which is why I'm glad that our Biblical Foundations class is going over woldviews and hopefull going to get into how we form our own and how we should check the validity of our worldview. It's been a really interesting chain of events, I just hope I don't forget about it and revert back to my apathetic life of complacency.

Wow, I am forgetful...

I can't believe it. There were two things I was going to blog on (two seperate times), but I've forgotten them both! I certainly am everforgetful... Perhaps they'll come back to me, but by that time, the moment will have been long gone.. *sigh* Such is the curse of the procrastinator.