I want to give up, really I do. Not on life, but on the whole relationship thing... maybe. But I don't really... I want the love and the affection, just not the mistrust and the bickering and the fighting... I want to go back in time and fix my mistakes... but then that would just postpone them, right? I don't think so, if I went back with the knowledge I have now. 9th grade might be a good starting place. I'd do well in high school, get all A's, come to LeTourneau, get an honor's scholarship, keep a 4.0 GPA (or at least a 3.0), hang out with all my friends, try not to creep them out as I got to know them again... make better decisions with the relationships I make (Not lose any, but make them better than they are now), and be more assertive with what I want or don't want, or like or dislike, and such and such.
Life would be different if I had God-like powers, but I don't, and probably for good reason... somewhere.
God, teach me to be assertive. Lead me through the path to great leadership. Instruct me to rest in you... and get your Holy Spirit to get me to listen. :-/ Help me not to grab or take by force things that shouldn't be mine, and give me grace when I fail at doing the right thing. Give others grace to deal with me as well. I thank you for the grace you've given so far... it's been good.
Stephen *tripping*
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